Concerts

Fun fact about me: I love live music! Pre-covid, my calendar was filled with shows and music festivals. Rightfully, that all came to a screeching halt in 2020 shortly after seeing a single concert. Orville Peck, since you asked :)

Concerts signal the beginning of ritual for me. I would pre-game before, drink during, and depending on the night, continue to drink after. This doesn’t even include or encompass what it looked like for me at music festivals…eek…and that’s for another time.

I felt as though I needed alcohol to let loose. To dance and sing and truly enjoy myself. In actuality, I was missing so much and the hangover the next day killed any lingering joy I had from the show.

So, when this concert date approached last week, it was one of the first times I was nervous for my sobriety because this show was more than just my first sober concert, it was my first solo concert.


I originally bought these tickets in April of this year as a gift for my, then, partner. But, they had other plans that didn’t include me. Say it with me: ✨Rejection is divine protection✨

Right, so, now I’ve got these breakup concert tickets.

I went back and forth on whether or not to go. Would I be sad because I’d originally planned to go with them? Would I even like the experience sober? Would I just sit the whole time because I’d be too self-conscious to sing and dance?

A couple hours before the show, I decided that I wanted to go, even if I was sad and self-conscious, because I love live music and I needed to go to prove to myself that I could do this on my own.


I quick chilled a Topo Chico and cracked open my favorite flavor of La Croix. Oh, thanks for asking, my favorite flavor is Guava. I turned on the artist’s playlist on Spotify and danced and sang as I got ready. Even posted a lil thirst trap and made mention of the occasion on IG. All in the hopes of hyping myself up.

And, y’all. It worked. People reached out to support and encourage. Which really helped because I almost chickened out when I got to the venue. THANK YOU FRIENDS!

I took a final swig of my Topo Chico and made the walk into my very first sober + solo concert.


Ok, so, if I’m being real, on the drive there I thought about the fact that I was going alone and no one would know if I drank. Because cravings and rituals don’t just disappear. Maybe I could have one drink?

To which I internally answered myself, no. You can’t have just one drink. That’s literally the reason you stopped drinking, Dani. Moderation doesn’t exist for you. And then, I saw it. Like a sign from the universe to keep my happy ass on Recovery Road, the massive lines for the ID Check and Alcohol.

I strolled on by and found myself a lil spot on the grass and waited for the concert to start.

When it did, I was kinda uncomfortable. I awkwardly swayed while I was sitting. I sung along in my head. Then, people stood up and, of course, so did I so I could see. Now, I’m standing. Oh, shit, now I’m dancing. Is that me singing? OUT LOUD???? Ok Dani!

The next 2 hours, I sang my heart out and danced all without the security blanket of alcohol or a companion.


Here’s what I learned and would recommend:

  • Have your AF beverage(s) of choice on hand to drink while getting ready.

  • I didn't get anything to drink at the concert, but at the next one, I’d definitely bring a water bottle or get a lemonade, just so I have something to hold in my hand.

  • Know yourself. I knew going to this alone was way outside my comfort zone, so I researched set times and arrived as close as I could to the main act to avoid putting myself in a compromising position.

  • Tell your people that you are doing something new. I was surprised that I received so much encouragement and, although I was alone, I didn’t feel alone.

  • Even before I was AF, I’d only allow myself to take a few video clips of songs during shows. It helps me stay present & when do I re-watch them, really? Staying off my phone for the most part, helped me soak in the experience.

  • Literally no one cares what you’re doing. So, sing, dance, shoulder shimmy with a stranger! You are unstoppable!


Usually, when I’d pour myself into bed after a concert, I would instantly regret drinking and anxiously anticipate the impending hangover. Now, my only regret is that I didn’t stop for french fries on the way home.🍟

What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to? Do you have a new AF concert ritual? Let me know!

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